The Skeptic in the Room
by: Eddie Scott
I’m always amazed that some people believe
things that defy common sense
How do they accept the bizarre and the odd
for which there is no evidence
Sure, some people say that it’s harmless
And I wish I could just let it go…
But it’s not what we know that makes trouble
It’s what we know – that just isn’t so.
It’s always such a drag to be the skeptic in the room
I state my case and watch the room grow silent as a tomb
‘Cause I’m the one who always says “How’s that supposed to work?”
Which makes me end up sounding like an overbearing jerk
Yes, it’s a drag to always be the lonely skeptic in the room
I have to speak my mind when pseudo-science starts to bloom
Although I try to hold my tongue sometimes I just can’t make it quit…,
‘Cause people sure believe some crazy shit!
I have a friend, her name is Laura, loves to talk about her aura
Every time she’s off her game: her dented aura is to blame
She says everybody’s got ’em, cameras have been known to spot ’em:
Magic, mystic aural energy
One day I just had to ask her, Laura, make it clear…
How’s it all supposed to work? Please tell me – I’m all ears!
How’s an aura get created?, tell me how’s it’s generated…
is there a hypothesis for how an aura can exist?
Maybe you’re just having mood swings, which you blame on magic woo things
That’s the last time Laura talked to me!
My friend Dennis he’s a scholar; his tech skills earn him top dollar
just a few short years ago, Dennis saw a UFO!
Now he says they’re all around us; Aliens in fact surround us
Probably they’re living right next door!
I say “Dennis, tell me buddy, help me understand…”
How can there be flying saucers, buzzing ’round the land?”
How come every single sighting seems to come in lousy lighting
I guess I’d accept the truth, with valid photographic proof
But when you saw those lights a blinking – had you maybe just been drinking?
Dennis doesn’t call me anymore!
Britney is a modern lady, rather green and quite new-agey
Claims her latest malady, was cured by homeopathy!
She says it has magic rules, just take some wholesome molecules…
dissolve them in the purest H2O!
Britney took this grand concoction, and her pain was fixed.”
“Come again,” I had to say, “just what was in that mix?”
If it works well what would then be – water has selective mem’ry?
Knows the good but not the shit, that ever was dissolved in it.
Thanks to science here’s what we know, really it’s a big placebo…
Britney told me just where I can go.
I have a friend, no “Doubting Thomas”, quite devout and really honest,
Says despite what we’ve been told, the Earth is really not that old.
He will brook no whys or wherefores, that’s what holy books are there for
Earth was born six thousand years ago.
To contradict you, Thomas, I admit to feeling grief
But maybe there’s some evidence to counter your belief!
Like chemistry, biology, astronomy, anatomy,
Astrophysics, botany, geology, zoology…
molecular biology, physics, physiology
Thomas says “So what?” they’ll burn in Hell!
My young neighbors Dave and Tina, talked about how they had seen a
former Playboy pinup queen, shouting out about vaccines.
Now they think its realistic – so that no one grows autistic
Not to vaccinate their little kids.
Dave, please listen now before it really is too late
Don’t take health advice from one to whom you used to masturbate?!
Beauty queens have certain assets; science really ain’t their strong set
you should get a good assist – from a freaking scientist!
Guys, I won’t speak gingerly – ’cause this could cause great injury
The right thing is what Dave and Tina did!
So…it’s…not… always such a drag to be the skeptic in the room
Sometimes I state my case and find that people will consume
Though I’m the one who always says “How’s that supposed to work?”
It doesn’t have to mean that I’m an overbearing jerk
No it’s not bad to always be the lonely skeptic in the room
But I’ll still speak my mind when pseudo-science starts to bloom
Although I try to hold my tongue I know I’ll never quit…,
‘Cause people do believe …
And man do they believe!
Yes, people do believe some crazy shit!