Mighty Mystic Power Bracelets

by: Eddie Scott

Mighty Mystic Power Bracelets

Lyrics

People everywhere since the very dawn of time
Have tried to find the secret of success
But who’d have thought the answer was so simple and sublime
And best of all, so easy to possess

The Chinese, they have secrets that we’ll never understand
With centuries of knowledge on display
But now we get to use the ancient wisdom of that land
In a TV infomercial kind of way

So just put on your Mighty Mystic Power Bracelet
See your balance and athletic skills increased

Because this tiny molded bit of plastic
Is imbued with all the magic of the East

This magic band may cost you lots of money
So show your credit card where all can see
Yes buy a mighty mystic power bracelet
Cause no one said placebos should be free

Now there are those who wonder if this magic really works
Richard Saunders likes to say it’s all a sham
But they are just close-minded all those condescending jerks
Who can argue with a tiny hologram?

Some studies have been done to find out if these bands impressed
But clearly, there is still more work to do
And who’d believe a scientist who’s only done some tests
When a shortstop or a golfer says it’s true

So just put on your Mighty Mystic Power Bracelet
See your balance and athletic skills increased

Because this tiny molded bit of plastic
Is imbued with all the magic of the East

This magic band may cost you lots of money
So show your credit card where all can see
Yes buy a mighty mystic power bracelet
Cause no one said placebos should be free

So just put on your Mighty Mystic Power Bracelet
See your balance and athletic skills increased

Because this tiny molded bit of plastic
Is imbued with all the magic of the East

This magic band may cost you lots of money
So show your credit card where all can see
Yes buy a mighty mystic power bracelet
Cause no one said placebos
Did I just say placebos?
What I meant was…
Overpriced bits of plastic manufactured in Chinese factories for pennies and sold at ridiculous prices to gullible people in the West who think their strength, balance, flexibility and overall well-being will be improved
But who ought to know better…
Should be free

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