Joe The Skeptic

by: Eddie Scott


Well it was just a theory…Like gravity!
Now being a skeptic is nothing like being a cynic
Aren’t you a little old for an imaginary friend?
If anything, I’m optimistic
Because you can’t prove a negative

You see him with his earbuds in as he walks down the hall
It’s not rap or rock n’ roll he loves
No, not at all
He walks along with confidence that cannot be denied
He’s listening to Skeptoid or the latest Skeptic’s Guide

Joe the Skeptic’s catching up on the latest science news
Joe the Skeptic loves to share his scientific views
With what he knows he’s sure that he could put on quite a clinic
Yet he can’t convince his friends that he’s not just a cynic

Do you know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proven to work?
Yeah, don’t be a dick…unless you’re good at it
I don’t do science…science does me

You’ll find him at a party in the midst of any crowd
‘Specially when the arguments are getting good and loud
He takes on pseudoscience because that’s what makes him tick
He’ll argue ‘till the cows come home but he won’t be a dick

Joe the Skeptic makes it clear he will not suffer fools
Joe the Skeptic loves to bring out all his skeptic’s tools

When people think their evidence supports some kind of woo
They get pissed when Joe insists that it be peer reviewed

Neil deGrasse Tyson should totally run for president
Your headache was bound to go away no matter what you did
Actually that’s a myth
Actually that’s a myth
Actually that’s a myth
Actually that’s a myth
That’s a myth
No, actually you’re wrong
We should totally start our own podcast

Joe will let you know when your decision skills are weak
But deep down in his heart he will admit he’s just a geek
He’ll be calm while pointing out that your beliefs are myths
But don’t you ever dare confuse a Jedi with a Sith

Joe the skeptic goes to TAM to hang out with his kind
Getting drunk with skeptics really helps him to unwind

Rejecting answers that are based on faith or woo or worse
Joe looks to science to explain our awesome universe

I want you to go to
Correlation does not imply causation
Fuck you!
Vaccines are not a matter of your opinion
That still falls way within the bell-curve
Yeah, no, I downloaded the podcast
I just haven’t listened to it yet

Joe the Skeptic
Joe the Skeptic
Joe the Skeptic
Joe the Skeptic

So you’re a skeptic too…I doubt that
Oh me…

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